Reality Check

I don’t know about you, but routine is hard to find these days: our day to day reality has changed. We are all moving about, under roof, to abnormal: work schedules, school schedules, shopping, hobbies, sports, etc. etc.

I spend a lot more time doing things I’ve never done: trying to figure out if I should touch the mail, trying to decide if I need to wash my hands again (I think I just retouched), trying to find Toilet Paper (online), ordering groceries online, waiting for grocery deliveries, trying to not need anything outside my household, wondering when I’ll be allowed to see my children, parents, friends, etc.

The list goes on and on … I’d love to hear some of yours! We could have a good giggle at the craziness of it all.

Yes, life is crazy right now! Crazier than ever … ya think you know crazy, but then a new crazy shows up and you admit … I only thought I knew crazy. If it gets much crazier, I don’t know if I can stand it. Truth is … I would have said that about today and here I am standing in it and living through it.

So Are You!

I never dreamed there’d be a day I couldn’t find toilet paper, chicken, or hand sanitizer. We are the most developed country on the planet and way beyond the former underdeveloped generations. These things have been at our fingertips for decades. Thinking it might not be so was beyond reality.

Hello … here we are living in a new reality!

Staying in our houses. Grounded from travel. Watching an infectious disease climb steep curves. Hearing of over-run medical facilities: insufficient supplies. An economy, in large part, shut down. Lost income/jobs. Explaining to children why they can’t see friends, go to school, won’t have a graduation and no extracurricular activities. 

Everything halted and spun us into a new realm … where life is different!

This can be numbing, disconcerting, fear producing, anxiety provoking and very overwhelming!

I’d just like to take a few minutes and say, “It’s okay to grieve.” It’s healthy to grieve losses. We are all experiencing losses. I can’t see my children, grandchildren. He can’t work. She’s home alone. Teens can’t socialize. Kids can’t play with friends. Some people fear losing their home, etc.

We are all feeling loss.

A few things that help me with Grief and Loss:

• It’s good to name them … Straight out … I’m feeling loss because _________. I’m grieving _____________.

• Shed tears when they come … they do come.

• Let myself miss the things I’m missing. For those who like to ignore these things … they’re still losses whether you admit it or deal with it.

• Give myself space and time to be alone with those thoughts a bit.
  

Then, I try to contemplate whether anything might help me handle the loss; (Here’s a few of mine)

• Solitude

• Prayer

• Focus on God and His love.

• Scripture reading.

• Name things I am thankful for.

• Reach out to someone, if it helps me cope.

• Evaluate whether there is any action I can take to help with my loss.

Actions like:

• Emailing, text message, video.
• FaceTime
• Send a letter.
• Make a gift.
• Being creative … whether crafting, writing, or needle craft, DIY’s (These seem to occupy my mind and hands and bring a sense of control/accomplishment even though it’s over very little or insignificant things.)
• Garden
• Exercise
• Sit Outside: observe nature, hear life around me.
• Music: Play an Instrument, Listen, Sing, Praise, etc.
• Essential Oils.
• Light candles (I’m not sure why, but candle light ministers to my spirit. That may sound crazy, but it’s true.)
• Etc.

Whatever helps center you, calm you, soothe you and allows you to feel your loss but also begin to deal with it: help you acknowledge it and move forward with it.

It is perfectly normal to grieve loss no matter its size or makeup.

I may just be talking to myself today. I don’t have all the answers, ever! I just want to give you permission to feel your loss. I understand. I stand with you. There are some things I am missing so much, it brings tears as I type these words.

You may feel the same way. 

It’s okay to feel that way, even if you are not sick or in the hospital. This quarantine brings magnanimous changes in our lives, and if we don’t grieve those losses, I believe they will show up other places in our life. Take on other forms like anger, irritability, anxiety, frustration, stress, discontentment, blood pressure, headaches, physical ailments, etc. 

Grief usually gets out somehow!
You can give it the attention it needs or it will get your attention. 

Coping with it and learning to move forward with it is healthy; naming it and acknowledging the sting, pain, or brokenness it causes is always my first step.

I’d love for anyone and everyone to share what action(s) you take that’s helping you deal with losses. You can name a loss too, if you choose. Or name a crazy you’re experiencing in our new reality.

Hopefully, before too long, our present losses will be past memories

instead of living realities.

Nevertheless, they will still be losses.

I feel it! I’m with you!

Love and Prayers,

Feel free to share with a friend(s).

“Subscribe” on the right or below to have all posts delivered to your email inbox.