Who Am I?

Despite the abundance of bunnies and eggs this week, the other focus persists on a cruel cross. It’s so easy for me to busy myself with family celebrations and preparations. And believe me, it is a busy week. Yet, my heart and soul yearn to ponder how it all played out in Jerusalem this week, long ago.

A donkey, a parade, disciples, close friends, political figures, spiritual leaders, rioters, guards, fickle followers, a swarm of upheaval, physical violence, heartbreak, screaming crowds, taunting jeers, extolling lies, and death!

If I were there, who would I be?

I’d love to say I’d be Mary Magdalene… sticking with Jesus every moment. In the crowd, watching at a close distance, not able to leave my Savior. Even in the worst moments, circumstances could not divide us. I’d have the ultimate experience of seeing him first after his resurrection. How very monumental would this last week be and I would be a central figure. The elation of seeing him again and humanly realizing what divinity looks like face to face. I can only imagine how those things must have felt and affected Mary.

I don’t want to be Jesus’ mother this week. The agony and heartbreak seem more than a mother could bear. Yet, there she was, kneeling in the dirt next to an erected cross with her beloved firstborn crucified to his death. I can’t imagine it and don’t want to. It’s more than a heart can take. She is an inspiration, but being here, especially that week, is overwhelming and gut-wrenching.

Would I be the disciples who positioned themselves near or at a distance?

I want to be John, near the cross. But I could have been one of the others at a distance. Espousing my love for my beloved Savior, but scared to my core at “what in the world is happening?”

I know I would have been one throwing Palm leaves on the parade into Jerusalem. The one I loved deserved so much more, but it was the least I could do to honor my King. “Hosanna!” A safe proclamation outside city walls, with rulers and religious elite out of earshot. It’s easy with a crowd in agreement!

I pray I would not be the jeering, insulting crowds on his way to Golgotha. It sickens me to consider spitting and cheering at Jesus’ lashings and pain! I think I would run to the farthest corner to prevent my eyes and heart from witnessing such vulgarity against one I love so much! “The crowds would not dissuade me” is easy to say, truth is, even watching a movie based on the story found me closing my eyes, plugging my ears and wincing at the thought. No doubt, in person, it would have sent me running. Even though, admitting it is extremely disappointing and hard.

I would love to say I would not be Judas Iscariot. I cannot for the life of me think I could betray Jesus with a kiss for a hand full of silver. It’s so easy to judge him.

“It was during supper, when the devil had already put the thought of betraying Jesus into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son.”

John 13:2

Never underestimate the power of Satan on earth to tempt and put unsuspecting thoughts into people’s heads. One minute he’s a disciple of Jesus sharing a meal, the next a hair-brained plot enters his thoughts and “puff” he hatches a betrayal.

Of course, I don’t want to be him, but Satan can influence and win a temptation session in human hearts. Even mine, if I don’t guard and tend to my heart and thoughts.

There is a nameless woman in the Easter week scenario I have great respect, intrigue and affection for (other than the ones mentioned prior). We only know her as a wife, but she took a memorable stand for Jesus: Pilate’s Wife. She was not Jewish. She acted on a dream which I can only surmise was god-sent. Read it for yourself. Only Matthew’s book refers to her, but her one verse sticks with me!

“While he, Pilate, was seated on the judgement seat (hearing the accusations against Jesus), his wife sent him a message, saying, “Have nothing to do with that righteous and innocent Man (Jesus); for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him.”

Matthew 27:19

I wish Matthew could have expounded a bit on the details. I’d like to hear about a dream that changed people’s hearts and actions.

Her dream, which accompanied great suffering, was about Jesus. Whatever it was, confirmed that he was righteous and innocent! She felt so strongly she interrupted her husband’s proceedings to warn him about being part of convicting Jesus. It was obvious that she was frightened about the outcome if he did! This wasn’t a “and pick up milk on your way home message.” In those days, interrupting in your prestigious husband’s court hearings was a serious affair. It was not a usual happening. They may have forbidden it. But, oh, this dream! The experience was haunting, terrifying, and caused her great suffering. Demanding her attention, she took action! She did not want her husband implicated by this man’s innocent and righteous blood on his hands. It appears that the message resonated deeply with him. He did as she instructed, did not convict him, and washed his hands of Jesus’ innocent blood.

I admire her strong conviction to do what was right and warn her husband of impending trouble brought on by his actions. She really didn’t have courtroom proof. Against court rules, she had only a dream. She acted on a dreadful night’s sleep, a nightmare. Her spiritual senses awakened: she acted on the truth she was shown, even in a suffering dream. Kudos to her!  She didn’t question or ask for confirmation. She acted and stood up for truth and righteousness. I bet her profession of Jesus’ innocence and righteousness led to her being a Jesus-follower. I have no proof, but she holds a powerful testimony to me.

Who would you be?

Where would you fit into the Easter week scenario?

Have you ever thought about it? Tell Us!

Let yourself ponder for a moment,