IT’S HOT!

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I know this rant is a month old: that does not prevent me from sharing my present-August feelings.

IT IS HOT!!!

Translation: I AM BURNING UP OVER HERE!

Every summer, it happens, as long as I can remember. Every expectation of summer season is fulfilled… beyond. I stand by past evaluations: summer is my least favorite season. With a few exceptions; vacation, kids being out of school, less routine.

This is truth. In April, when everyone is counting down days till summer, fantasizing about life by the pool, and trying to get their “pre-tans”.… Can I stop right there? 

Pre-tans (*insert hysterical laughing*)…

Announcement: Some of us never tan! As in EVER! We burn, peel and repeat the process over and over. Nothing “Pre” will change our reality. We dodge from shelter to shelter trying to avoid direct sunlight.

Ok. Back to the prior statement.

When everyone is languishing over dreams of summer, I get that “pitty” gnawing in my stomach; like dread. You see, summer heat feels like oppression. I walk outside, humidity smacks me, my skin crawls, my body sweats, and my hair blossoms (extremely unattractive). I feel like someone has put a hundred pounds of pressure on me and I’m sinking in quick-sand; unbearable.

All my energy zapped right up into the atmosphere. A whole night of sleep wasted on two seconds outdoors. What’s left? A miserable, exhausted, heavy-laden-sponge of a woman trying to put one water-logged foot in front of the other. Swelling with humidity and shrinking from heat; unrecognizable!

I resemble Olaf (the snowman) in “Frozen”, trying to keep his body parts from melting off, when the sun came out. It’s not pretty ya’ll … think desperate!

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Run Hot

My thermostat has always run hot! I was born in January in a northern state? Really? Does that determine things? We’ve spent a few vacations in Canada and New England. I’m happy as a clam up north in the summer; cool crisp air! Even when warm during the days, the evenings cool off; I’m energized, revived …. the world is glorious! Huge Sigh! No skin crawl,  no hundred pound weight, no hair blossoming, no sweat-stained anything: free to be me! (Picture frolicking and twirls)

Much to my chagrin, I’ve spent summer weeks in the south: Florida, Texas, South Carolina… I’m not sure what I was being punished for, but it happened. Major Oppression! I have a few friends from Louisiana and Mississippi; please, don’t make me go there in the summer. They don’t even speak kindly of the weather: I’d be doomed. We visited Florida, in February; it was incredibly humid! In February. Please Lord, don’t ask me to move there, I’d have endless Vitamin D deficiency.

 

Temperature Soul-Mate

I love my air conditioning! It is vital to summer survival. Believe me, I thank Jesus!! Here’s the thing, when I married my husband, he ran hot, too! We blissfully ran at the same temp. We blasted every air conditioner; house, car, hotel rooms, vacation rentals, etc. Wherever we were, the air was cool (some might argue “frigid”) and every fan in the house was on high. (We traveled with extras.) 

We are a “couple” years in, now, a few grey hairs, and my same-temp-side-kick is turning on me!! Yep, he’s getting that “cold thing” that accompanies aging. You guessed it…. I am NOT! Ughhhh! I caution him, “You cannot switch the game plan. No fair, we agreed!” Should have put it in the pre-nup… well, we didn’t have one written out, but it was implied! “Go put on some winter clothes, eat some lard, fatten-up. I am not changing our long predetermined thermostat!”, as I toss him a blanket, out of deep love and strong compassion.

 

Desert Living

I’ve long thought about those disobedient Israelites, who wandered in the desert wilderness for 40 years. I’ve truly felt their dread and despair. You could not punish me any more. Heat, no shade, no respite, minimal water, little food… death seems an easier choice. I wander through summer. Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful for everyday God gifts me! I am just emphasizing my personal preferences. (Wink) Even the children of Israel complained, I mean, “stated their preferences”, a lot, and God still loved them! He might not have enjoyed them, but He loved them.

Which leads me to this… I have found a verse in scripture that perfectly describes my summers.

“….. for when the sun became hot, it melted.”

Exodus 16:21

There I am folks, right on the pages of Exodus!

Who knew? I am the “it”. When the sun becomes hot, I melt! I always felt a fond kinship with Moses and His children, now I know why! The children told God “their preferences about starving”, so He lovingly provided food every morning, manna. But, when the sun got hot, it melted; they had to be diligent to gather it in the morning or it was gone. 

I’ve always wondered what manna looked like, some say, a grain-coriander-like substance. Whatever, I know we have commonalities; God created us both and we melt in the sun. Thank you God for not making me an anomaly. I have company. Even if, it’s a food substance. You created both of us, in love!

 

Respite

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Does anyone have a house in Alaska I could borrow for the summer? Dreaming helps me cope. No joke, I eat frozen grapes and watch Alaska shows in the summer! I’ve been known to sit on ice packs too. No lie!

Excuse me… while I go put the hairdryer on my husband. My compassion runneth over! #sacrificeoflove

 

One Swollen Hot Chick,

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