BROOKE SHIELDS & ME …

Have you ever bursted out laughing … AT YOURSELF?

In the mundane, normal flow, something strikes you like never before and audible giggling ensue.

I was grooming my eyebrows …

Wait, let’s back up…

Somewhere in my late teens or early twenties, I realized eyebrows required maintenance. Till then, I just didn’t grow strays that needed discipling! Problem was, discipling was painful!! Back then, only very thin eyebrows were the accepted norm. I mean tiny thin, like take off 3/4 of your normal brow!! Lordy, that was a lot of maintenance and PAIN. I tried my best, never achieving the prescribed socially acceptable norm.

I tried the waxing method which I equate to an ancient torture technique brought present-day! OUCH!! As my Mom would say, “Gee Zooey, OUCH!” I gripped the table like a monkey grips the trees swinging through the forest. Life or death! And every time I laid on that table and smelled that warming gooey wax, my tummy twisted. Sometimes flight or fight rose to the surface: wanting to jump up and run. Goodness me, it hurt; watery eyes and audible gasps!

Once, I bought the wax kit to do it myself at home. I don’t know what I was thinking. Someone convinced me it was easier and cheaper. OK! Maybe if I had more control, I could handle it better! Oh my heavens, that was worse! I didn’t want to pull it off after I put it on!! I found out if it cools too much, it’s more difficult to pull off!!! You can imagine … whoops, hollers, jiggling, dancing around trying to remove what I had applied… disaster!! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Nope, never again!

Someone mentioned eyebrow threading as an alternative. “It’s really quick,” they said. I watched someone do it …UH, NOOOO! Maybe it’s quick but for those nanoseconds it’s hell unleashed … on me!!! NO THANK YOU!

Somewhere in the journey, Brooke Shields popped on the scene. She was my gal. Instant camaraderie. An actress/model with LARGE EYEBROWS! I immediately related to her! From that moment on, my philosophy became … “if it’s good enough for Brooke Shields, it’s good enough for me!!” I found my eyebrow tribe; content to be part of the “nearly natural look” eyebrow subculture!

I tweaked outer strays and left it at that!! Even that hurt. Thin eyebrows did not suit me in any way!!!

Me and Brooke Shields remain eyebrow friends. I appreciate her commitment to the “natural” look. If God wanted them thin, I’m sure he could have designed them that way.

Me, Brooke Shields and God … a lovely brow-lofting combination!

While on my eyebrow journey, I encountered another issue … a few of my eyebrow hairs turned grey!

My simple solution was to harvest the grey ones while doing maintenance. In between, I used eyebrow color to disguise them. It worked for the most part!

A few weeks ago, as I performed the required plucking, which still hurts by the way. I commenced to removing the strays.

WHY CAN’T THEY STAY WHERE THE GOOD LORD PUT THEM?

They relentlessly creep to places eyebrows don’t belong! Goodness, mine are untamable!! They mock me! With aging eyesight, I now have to use a 12x mirror to find all of them. My glasses don’t do the trick for these sneaky, unyielding ones.

I moved from the edges to the main body of the brow, plucking the “unwanted”. I was ripping out the greys; my now normal habit. This thought froze my tweezer clad hand and burst me into laughter…

IF I KEEP PLUCKING THE GREYS I WON’T HAVE ANY EYEBROWS LEFT!!!

It had become so routine and habitual, it never occurred to me. “Pluck the greys” was my quest for so many years! The change was so gradual, from mostly brown to mostly grey brow, I didn’t change my routine. Here I was, yanking more than I was leaving for who knows how long. I just continued the same old pattern!!!

HOW CRAZY AND SILLY, YET TRUE!!!

I literally laughed out loud!! Why hadn’t it occurred to me before?!

I immediately stopped. From that day on, I will cover grey brows with eyebrow makeup to match the grey I cover on the top of my head! No more plucking greys!!!

I might add … the grey ones are always the coarsest and deepest rooted. Those suckers hurt like crazy to pull out!!

I once more avow my kinship with Brooke Shields and affirm my eyebrow philosophy of tweezing out only the strays!

My new resolution … no more plucking the greys!!

Save the Eyebrows!

Bravo Brooke! I am honored to be part of your “brow tribe”: begun, bridged and sustained by the small crowns accenting our eyes!