I was absent, here, last week …
Life took me to the place none of us ever want to be …
My Mother Passed from this Life!
I remember as a child, watching my grandparents pass, wondering how it would be when my turn came. I recall through the years; the gut-wrenching-sinking-feeling thinking about the time I would stand in this place. As I stood with friends and family at their parent’s caskets, I couldn’t help think … One Day It Will Be Me.
I remember my mother grieving for her mother. Mom and I had conversations about death. For years, she assured me she was ready. I heard it, but let it quickly pass because the thoughts were too painful and unthinkable. My brain never fully let me go there. There was a little denial, even though I knew it would be reality. I wanted to embrace her presence and not let her future absence impose!
Even though she tried to prepare me … I wasn’t!
The end is always somewhere in the distance.
Giving way to thoughts of the end, somehow eroded her living presence.
It’s easy to carry on and pretend death is far away …
Until It Isn’t!
Just a short month ago, I posted about her 88th birthday. (HERE) Mom had two siblings live to 98 years of age: I imagined that might be her.
It is surreal standing at your parent’s grave;
leaving their “earthly tent” there, turning and walking away.
IT. IS. DREADED. DAY. HARD!!!
What does life look like when you’ve only ever known life with them?
I watched my Mom bravely turn from her mother’s graveside and keep living life to its fullest. Though she assured me many times, “I always miss her” “I still want to talk to her”!
I’m trying to follow your footsteps, Mom!!
I’m not sure I’m nearly as brave!
Your words are on repeat in my thoughts … I, now, understand …
“I’ll always miss you and still want to talk to you!!!”
Grief & Sorrow,
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Elaine Stone 