Most Dreaded Day!


I was absent, here, last week …


Life took me to the place none of us ever want to be …

My Mother Passed from this Life!

I remember as a child, watching my grandparents pass, wondering how it would be when my turn came. I recall through the years; the gut-wrenching-sinking-feeling thinking about the time I would stand in this place. As I stood with friends and family at their parent’s caskets, I couldn’t help think … One Day It Will Be Me.

I remember my mother grieving for her mother. Mom and I had conversations about death. For years, she assured me she was ready. I heard it, but let it quickly pass because the thoughts were too painful and unthinkable. My brain never fully let me go there. There was a little denial, even though I knew it would be reality. I wanted to embrace her presence and not let her future absence impose!

Even though she tried to prepare me … I wasn’t!

The end is always somewhere in the distance.
Giving way to thoughts of the end, somehow eroded her living presence.


It’s easy to carry on and pretend death is far away …

Until It Isn’t!

Just a short month ago, I posted about her 88th birthday. (HERE) Mom had two siblings live to 98 years of age: I imagined that might be her. 

It is surreal standing at your parent’s grave;

leaving their “earthly tent” there, turning and walking away. 

IT. IS. DREADED. DAY. HARD!!!

What does life look like when you’ve only ever known life with them?

I watched my Mom bravely turn from her mother’s graveside and keep living life to its fullest. Though she assured me many times, “I always miss her” “I still want to talk to her”!



I’m trying to follow your footsteps, Mom!!

I’m not sure I’m nearly as brave!

Your words are on repeat in my thoughts … I, now, understand …

“I’ll always miss you and still want to talk to you!!!”

Grief & Sorrow,


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11 thoughts on “Most Dreaded Day!

  1. I just read your moms 88th birthday, what an amazing woman. Even though our moms are no longer with us it gives me peace to know I can always talk to my mom and the overwhelming feeling I get knowing she will always live within me. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Elaine, I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom over four years ago. Your Jim really helped me much. You are in my prayers. Love, Patty Riddle

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry for your loss. Even when your parents are in poor health or say they’ll live to be 116 and beat some world record, death is unexpected when it actually happens. knowing they’re in heaven is a comfort, but I still wish I could have one more hug.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Elaine, So sorry for your loss, it’s never easy when we lose our mom. Remember all the precious memories she left you and please know our prayers are with you at this difficult time.🙏💔😢

    Liked by 1 person

  5. So sorry for the loss of your dear sweet mom. It will be 20 years in October for my mom (best friend) went to be with the Lord. It’s not a day that goes by that I want to call her. And like you said, “I’ll always miss you and still want to talk to you!!!” May peace and comfort be with you and the family. Love and prayers

    Liked by 1 person

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