Fall Decor & Grieving …

This may seem like the oddest topic. It does for me!

Last week, I shared about my father’s death. You can Read It Here, if you wish.

Today talking about something so trivial seems somewhat disrespectful and trite. Yet, there is a connection.

I found out on Saturday evening that Dad had passed, surprisingly! Sunday, a cloud covered me. But, Sunday evening, I asked my husband to plan on getting my Fall storage bins out for me Monday or Tuesday.

This may sound baffling and totally bizarre, but here’s what I know …

I needed something to do with my hands! Something to take my attention that didn’t require brain power. I know the fog of grief is real; hovers and lingers. I would cope best keeping my hands and non-consequential thoughts and decisions focused on something else for a minute or two.

Waves of grief are a given. I could sit down with the tissue box when needed. I could wipe tears while placing pumpkins. I could play music to soothe my soul as I moved around the house.

First thing Monday morning, before work, he brought my storage boxes into the house. It gave me a project to complete amidst my deep grief and sorrow.

Am I still grieving?

I sure am! I have a hard time not calling Dad’s phone and actually realizing he is gone. I know I will carry these feelings forward. Grief settles in. It does not disappear.

My friend sent me these words, she too, is grieving the passing of her little sister this week. They resonate deeply with me … “Time lumbers along as the absence deepens.”

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I’ve always loved Fall and the end of summer! I’ve expressed it every way possible: Summer is not my favorite. Cooler weather is!! Along with cooler temperatures comes the warmer tones and season’s harvest.

Dad loved Fall too. He was a hunter! The woods in the Fall were one of his favorite spots. It didn’t matter if anything was harvested. He enjoyed his time alone in nature, the quiet and beauty. He had lots of hunting stories!

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This is how I decorate seasonally ….

1. I use most of the items stored in my bins. I’ve downsized to three to fit our downsized house. Having less takes less time to change out.

2. Each season brings a replacement or two, but not a ton. I don’t have space and don’t want to add bins. Some of my florals are ancient (meaning I don’t know when I bought them). They don’t always survive in a bin very well. Replacements become necessary.

3. I take pictures of my decor! I can’t remember what I did last year! I refer to the pictures, but don’t imitate them. Sometimes, I look at them and don’t really like them. I guess I got happy with the decor last year, but I don’t want to do that this year! Pictures are a starting point.

 4. I basically place things and then decide if I’ll look for anything new. I always buy some real pumpkins. A few for the porch and the small white ones for inside. I wish all of them could be real, but that’s a lot of throwing out and buying. Unless I would choose to do less. I do like my faux ones. Some of them hold special meaning. I have added twigs, branches, pinecones and leaves from outside some years. Depends how much I choose to do.

5. I may peruse Pinterest for inspiration. Not always, but sometimes. It helps me rearrange some of my decor for a fresh look.

I’m not a fan of rote placement. I don’t like the same placement every year. That seems a little boring to me. I like change.

Without further ado, here is how my Fall decor ended up …

Have you discovered what helps you with grieving? Share with us.

Do you decorate for Fall? Post a pic.

I would normally decorate for Fall right after Labor day: this year, we went on vacation. My Fall decor is only out until the first of November, then Christmas decor starts.

Thank you for the many kind, thoughtful and prayerful condolences. They touched me deeply!

Time lumbers along as the absence deepens,